I might have a different feeling about marriage than some of you because I outlived a 29-year marriage, which ended with the death of my husband in Aug. 2002. I stuck to those "til death do thou part" vows religiously and if my husband was still here today I would still be with him.
But what is "death" in a marriage? Is it only loss of life? I mean the loss of a human life due to physical "death?" Can't there be other kinds of "death" in a marriage?
People change. How many times do you hear a spouse say "he (she) is not the same person I married." ? Truly, a person can change so much that he or she is NOT recognizable as the person you loved.
And what about protracted illness, that in which the sick spouse has absolutely NO recognition of the marriage partner, no physical or mental activity or is unable to live without assisted means...and what if this would go on for many years? Isn't that a type of death? Is the healthy spouse supposed to give up any chance for a normal life forever (or until the other finally passes on)? I am talking about Alzheimer's, strokes, accidents, whatever...I am not inferring that you should abandon that spouse, I just think you should be free to take up with another if you want to.
And what about change of heart? What if you want children and your spouse does not? I mean, what if you REALLY want a child? What if you marry someone who refuses to work? Or becomes an intractible alcoholic?
Back in "the day," Quakers would allow a man to remarry if his wife were incapacitated, and the new wife would actually care for the "old" wife in the same house...do all the work, etc, have more kids, etc. (not for me). these were very enlightened folk...but they thought it perfectly all right to get another spouse if yours was unable to "perform" and why was this not immoral then but it is now?
Something to think about!!
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